He
said . . . I don't now why you wear a bra; you've
got
nothing to put in it. She
said .. . . You wear
pants
don't you?
He
said ... . ..Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She
said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the
ironing board while I
sit on the sofa.
He
said . .. What have you been doing with all the
grocery
money I gave you? She
said . .Turn sideways
and
look in the mirror!
On
a wall in a ladies room . .. "My
husband follows
me everywhere"
Written just below it . .. . " I do not"
Q. How
many honest, intelligent, caring men in the
world
does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both
of them.
Q.
How does a man show
that he is planning for the
future?
A.
He
buys two cases of beer.
Q.
What is the difference
between men and government
bonds?
A.
The
bonds mature.
Q.
Why
are blonde jokes so short?
A.
So men can remember
them.
Q.
How
many men does it take to change a roll of
toilet
paper?
A.
We
don't know; it has never happened.
Q.
Why is it difficult to
find men who are sensitive,
caring
and good-looking?
A.
They
already have boyfriends.
Q.
What
do you call a woman who knows where her
husband
is every night?
A.
A
widow.
Q.
Why are married women
heavier than single women?
A.
Single women come
home, see what's in the fridge
and
go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in
bed and go to the
fridge.
Q.
What
is the one thing that all men
at singles bars
have
in common?
A.
They're
married.
Man
says to God:
"God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says:
"So you would love her."
But
God,"
the man says,
"why did you make her so
dumb?"
God
says:
"So she would love you."